THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
