I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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