his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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