just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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