whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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