Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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