i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize