I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
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I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
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I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize