They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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