How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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