come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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