i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize