my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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