i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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