its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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