i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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