FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize