He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I would fuck him just for his dog
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
