After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize