And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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