It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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