Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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