Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.