Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.