A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize