Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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