garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
