Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
