K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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