Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
