She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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