I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
