just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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