weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
high people should be assigned attendants
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We need to get me chipped asap
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
