I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
