Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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