Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
