apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
