Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Fuck appropriateness.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
