On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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