I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
