thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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