Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize