Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
