ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i think im in europe. pls send help
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
