I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
