We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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