It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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