Your tits are I can't wait for
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize