i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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