Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
