we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
