She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
