help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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