somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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