Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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