Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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