Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize