end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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