I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
