If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
